Proof that I’m writing… Progenitor 3 opener

Progenitor1thumbThis is the opener from Progenitor 3, which at this rate is likely to be the first story I complete on my new laptop.  There’s been some substantial improvements vs the briefly-released free version, and I’m really liking how Amita’s rewrite is going.  Her motivations ranged from psychotic-sounding to petty in previous drafts, and this is a lot better than it’s been in the past.

The link, of course, is to Progenitor 1.  If the last place you read it was on a website, you should either download the free eBook version linked from the Progenitor 1 page (it’s better edited than the website versions) or pick up the commercial version (which contains far more content than the free versions have).

The Beginning of Progenitor 3
Behind me, a public bus growled off into the distance with a throaty growl.  I paid it no attention though, because the two hot young co-eds in front of me were far more interesting.  We’d gotten off the bus together, and now they were leading me down the street towards the sorority house they lived in.  The only thing on my mind was the way their well-formed asses swayed in front of me, oscillating with a practiced strut as they walked down the sidewalk ahead of me.
They weren’t just sorority sisters; Erica and Amita were roommates.  Amita was East Indian, with medium-dark skin and a toned body, and she wore skin-tight electric blue shorts.  Her generous bosom was confined by a sports bra which was thin enough to show off her perky nipples, but tight enough that her cocoa-brown cleavage pushed invitingly up through the top.  Erica was a slender white brunette with green eyes which always seemed to sparkle mischievously.  She wore relatively modest jean shorts, along with a yellow cross-hatched string bikini top which technically violated the “no shirt, no shoes, no service” policy at the mall we’d just left – but realistically, such rules rarely get enforced on girls with her body.
The neighborhood we were walking through was suburban, full of large two and three story houses with green lawns.  It was walking distance from college, and it seemed like most of the houses had Greek letters somewhere around their front doors.  I was carrying both the girls’ shopping bags, and the weight was refreshing in my hands.  It’d been decades since I had been this strong, and my 1940s sensibilities meant I was thrilled that I could show the girls a little bit of old-fashioned chivalry – at least, until I inevitably fucked and impregnated both of them.  At this point, that final outcome was a foregone conclusion, but after fleeing from the scene of the orgy I touched off back in the mall, I was hoping to get some rest before it happened.  Soon, the girls turned and walked up to the front door of a stately three-story house with some Greek letters on the door above the peephole.
Erica swung the unlocked front door open, and waved me in.  “Entres vous,” she said in a mock French accent.
I stepped through the door, and the first thing I noticed was that the house was filled with the scent of potpourri candles.  The front room was a cozy sitting area full of couches and chairs.  The floor was faux wood paneling, covered in a few places with small rugs.
“Our room is upstairs,” Erica said as she checked a mail cubby by the door.  “And I’m officially inviting you up to it.  The house rules say that men are only welcome in our room until 8pm, but that only applies if someone knows you’re here.”  She winked and added, “It’s not like they’ll check, unless you’re really loud.”
I nodded.  “Sure, I’m up for hanging out.  What’re your plans for tonight?”
She rolled her eyes.  “Mostly studying, unfortunately.  My organic chemistry professor assigns us homework as if he’s our only class!  I couldn’t possibly make it without Amita here,” she said, indicating her previously silent friend.
“Oh Erica, you’d do just fine on your own,” Amita giggled nervously.  I could tell that she was nervous, but she’d inhaled enough of my pheromones so far that their influence was beginning to push her shyness into the back of her mind.
Erica looked around furtively, then said quietly, “C’mon, before someone sees you here and makes you sign in.”  She turned and walked up the stairs in front of me, and Amita and I followed behind.  I found myself her shorts; they were a work of art which hugged every curve of her early-20s ass.  It was impossible not to enjoy the view, and my dick hardened a little in spite of myself.
In my position, a normal college guy’s mind would be nervous, micro-analyzing his every move in a desperate attempt to avoid messing up his chance to get laid.  But I’d just had more sex than the average guy gets in a year in one afternoon, and there had to be at least three hundred women carrying my children by now from the mall alone.  My body, even with its alien enhancements, felt drained and I was hoping to get a nap in before fucking the two sorority girls.
Erica shouldered open the door to their bedroom and plopped down into a chair near the door, while Amita took a few steps forward and dove onto a bed head-first.  I selected a comfy looking beanbag chair near the bed and sat down on it, relatively sure that I hadn’t sat in one in for at least forty years.
Amita sat up in the bed and plucked a t-shirt off of her dresser, then slipped it over her sports bra and began fumbling around beneath.  Moments later, she let out a sigh of relief and pulled the bra out from under her shirt in an impressive feat of agility.  I’m pretty sure that she intended for me to notice how her nipples poked prominently through the shirt, but I avoided making any comments.  I still wanted to try to get some rest before I got her pregnant.
Erica noticed me watching Amita undress, and cleared her throat to draw my attention.  I looked over to the chair she was sitting in, where she sat with her hands clasped behind her head and resting on the top of her neck.  “You’re not a prude, are you?” she asked.
I shook my head, and Erica grinned widely.  “Good,” she said as she pulled the draw string on her bikini top.
“Erica!” Amita gasped out as the cups of her friend’s bikini top flopped down, revealing her well-formed tits and erect nipples.
Erica smirked saucily as she lifted the top off over her head and tossed it onto her study desk, posing coquettishly for a moment.  “Oh Amita, lighten up.  I’m sure he doesn’t mind a little show.  Do you?”
I shook my head and leaned back in the beanbag chair, folding my hands behind my head.  “Not at all, ladies,” I replied.
Truthfully, I was starting to enjoy it a bit too much.  My hard-on was sticking up from my pants like a flagpole, and Erica’s eyes darted down to it before her mouth creased in a guilty-pleasure grin.
“I bet you’re enjoying it, all right,” said Amita.  She arched her back a little, unsure exactly what she wanted to do but certain that showing off a little more couldn’t hurt.
Erica rolled her eyes and got out of her chair, her bare breasts swaying seductively as she walked towards me. I tracked her motion with my head as she plopped down next to me on the beanbag chair.
“You wouldn’t mind sharing the beanbag chair with me, would you?  It’s my favorite place to sit,” she said.  The warmth of her skin seeped into my side as she cuddled up to me, the curve of her breast pressing gently up against my side.
I shrugged and worked my arm around behind her back so that it was more comfortable. “Sharing makes the world go round,” I said resignedly. Inwardly I cringed a little; at this point, I was pretty sure that the nap I’d wanted was history.
Amita stood up from the bed and came over. “Now Erica, that chair looks too small for the two of you.”
Erica giggled.  “It’s fine – unless of course you were planning to join us?” she asked.
Amita’s cheeks flushed so red that I could see it through her cocoa-brown skin as she stammered out, “Well… yes, I’d like to.”
I glanced over at the bed, piled high with pillows like a typical girl-nest.  “How about we take it to the bed then, ladies?”
Erica cracked a half-smile and playfully punched me in the side. “Think you’re getting lucky or something?” she asked.
I wistfully replied, “What I really think, is that I want a nap.  But I’ll take getting lucky, as long as I get to sleep afterwards.”

End of preview

So, Phil’s the same somewhat-reluctant Progenitor he’s always been… but hell, you would be too if you were in his position.  Or, positions…

Ominous future for Nook readers and Barnes & Noble

When Erica plays "Baby Roulette", Brent wins either way

When Erica plays “Baby Roulette”, Brent wins either way

Picture is only related in that I’m presently working on the Brent Allen universe a little right now.  But, the main thing I’m writing about is the ominous happenings in the Barnes and Noble world.  B&N has been a nice little company to me – not as worked up about censorship as Amazon, with a nice online editor and a reasonable amount of control over your stories’ presentation.  Unfortunately, not many companies can realistically expect to survive when producing hardware competing with Amazon, and thus Barnes & Noble has announced today that they’re splitting off their Nook division in March.  The link below shows what’s going on:

Overall, this concerns me in that it represents a further tightening of Amazon’s velvet fist over the e-Reader market.  A future where Amazon is able to become a sole arbiter of access to the mainstream readers is utterly bleak for erotica authors.  They throw a new category of erotica under the bus every six months or so, whenever they need to look good for worried soccer moms who somehow think their copies of “50 Shades of Grey” represent something morally superior because there are no tentacles (or whatever other kink) involved.  The issue I have with that is that Amazon just about has a strangle hold on readers’ willingness to purchase content.  It’s easy, it’s quick, and you can sign in and read your book with a nice polished user interface whether you’ve got it on your Kindle, your phone, or your iPad.  If you want to buy a book that isn’t on Amazon, you’ve got to go browse another online bookstore, work out how to get it onto your device, etc.  This sort of thing presents no barrier at all to an IT professional, but let’s be realistic about how much of the market the lack of convenience cuts out… it’s a lot.

I’d be much happier in a world where Amazon still had vibrant long-term competition – and Nook spinning off to die alone (probably) signifies pretty much the end of Amazon’s realistic competition in the eBook market.  Sure, there’ll always be the fringe sites, and I’ll always list my stories on them.  But honestly, I just don’t see any of the fringe sites really getting enough momentum going to challenge Amazon again.

Incidentally, this is the link to my previous post on both Sony and Diesel shuttering their stores…

Got my mac dialed in – writing is so much nicer!

Oh geez, writing on a mac again is so much nicer!

Cupid's ArmorerYep, getting to write with a mac again is awesome, and I’m pretty sure my previous laptop really is the reason I wasn’t getting anything written for a while.  I’m inordinately happy with the keyboard on this thing vs the PC I was using.  Miserable keyboard equals low word counts… hey, it’s why a lot of authors stuck with the typewriters they were familiar with rather than switching to computer right away, right?

Anyway, I spent yesterday and today so far getting my laptop all dialed in – and by dialed in, I mean setting it up with some basic features to render it harder for a friend to blunder into the fact that I write erotica if he’s using my laptop for something.  I’ll end up writing a little bit on the various steps I’ve taken later, as this is a common enough problem.  Before my basic solution was to keep the laptop “clean” and do all my writing on a remote Linux machine, but now I want to be able to write outside the network.

And surprisingly, Cupid’s Armorer is taking off!

Cupid’s Armorer was one of my favorite stories to write, and I always thought it was kind of a shame that it never really took off with the readers.  When you’re mostly known for your breeding erotica, a story involving angels NOT getting each other pregnant isn’t really going to appeal that well to your main demographic.

That having been said, lately there’s been a fair number of sales for this title, which makes me really happy.  The sex scenes and the story were both were fun to write on Cupid’s Armorer, and frankly the idea of giving a guy who died so randomly a chance for an awesome sex life afterwards just appealed to me.

My most recent Amazon review was on the 15th:

The story line was good. The “gun talk” was a little over my head, but it was necessary for the story line. I will read more of this author!

I’m done writing on non-Mac keyboards

A lot has gone on in my life over the last year.  Unfortunately, writing hasn’t been a huge part of it lately.

I’m officially divorced.  My cheating ex-wife has been my ex for a bit over two months now, and it’s a good feeling.  As an erotica author, I can’t stand on a high horse condemning people for the sins of the flesh, but I can demand integrity from those I am associated with.  She never had the guts to either tell me she’d found someone else or to ask me for an open relationship, and that lack of integrity I do condemn.  My divorce took eight months to execute, during which time I never touched another woman… and now that it’s over, I’m free of her and not looking back.

I’m now a solo homeowner.  This is actually, excuse my French, pretty fucking awesome.  I’ve been paying my mortgage alone throughout my entire marriage, on what was a crushing short-term mortgage which my wife was supposed to have gotten a job and helped with.  The new mortgage leaves me with more disposable income than I’ve had in years.  For three months I couldn’t even afford to replace my hot water heater when it went out – but that’s over now.  I own my house, and no longer have to negotiate with anyone about how I want it to look or function.

I’m done trying to write on this shitty PC laptop keyboard.  Almost all of my stories were written on a Macbook Pro issued by my previous employer.  I did all my writing over a VNC connection to my main Linux machine, but the keyboard I was typing on was Mac and the screen was a nice wide, clear Mac display.  When my previous employer asked for their Macbook back, I switched to the laptop issued by my new employer: an expensive, high-end but tiny Windows laptop.  Ergonomics – or lack thereof – make a huge difference in writing.  This thing’s got a 12″ screen with a tiny keyboard, and as a 6’2″ guy I look like a T-Rex hunched over trying to type on it.  And thanks to the mortgage above, I couldn’t afford to buy my own mac.  My workflow suffered dramatically… I used to be happy to write until the wee hours of the night, but when my eyes get fuzzy it becomes impossible to read on this PC.  But, starting on the 23rd of this month I’ll have my very own Macbook Pro to write on.  It’s my fondest wish to get back to writing one story a month again.

I now stand a chance of getting laid.  This might actually have an adverse effect on my available time for writing, but maybe I’ll be able to write some interesting scenes from experience.  Part of what drove my writing was my sexual frustration at being married to a frigid asexual who broke her pre-marital promise to get therapy if her baggage interfered with our sex life, thus condemning me to five years of sexual starvation – with just enough “she lays there like a rubber doll” sex to make it debatable whether it was worse than getting nothing at all.  Anyway, I expect that what I write now will be different.  Since my mortgage finished up a week or so ago, I’ve been on two dates and have another one lined up tomorrow.  I’ve gotten nothing beyond hugs so far, but frankly I got so little from my ex that simply being out with a woman who might be interested is intoxicating.

I now have a hot female roommate.  Like any good sitcom, I’ve now got a hot female roomie who moved in practically as soon as my ex moved out.  Out of respect I’ll abstain from saying more about her situation, but let’s just say that she’s attractive and wears far less around the house than my ex-wife ever did.  And there’s perfectly good reasons – remember, integrity is important to me – why the two of us don’t have any form of physical relationship.  So, I have a female’s perspective available for dating advice, and have some truly memorable eye candy as she lounges by my pool on the weekends or gets “comfortable” watching TV at night.

So, in summary… life’s improved immensely, and is only getting better.  And dammit, six days later I’ll certainly be off of this horridly non-ergonomic PC laptop, and I may actually have some new relevant experiences for my stories!

On Fiction4All’s fascinating failed experiment in pulling erotica – and their perfect response to it

I signed up with Fiction4All as another distribution source for my stories back in April, and have been happy to get a few sales from them. They have a few domains which sound kind of “adult”, and then Fiction4All, which has a mix of everything. A few weeks ago, they sent me an email stating, in a nutshell, that they’d grown large enough that while they’d be keeping erotica on their adult domains, they were pulling erotica off of as a mainstreaming measure. I wasn’t too bothered by it – unlike Amazon they weren’t playing favorites with genres, and their other domains were 100% up and running. They have every right to tune their site’s content for their perceived market.

And then a couple days ago I got this email from fiction4all:

“Since removing erotica from our Fiction4All site some weeks ago, we have been keeping a close eye on who is visiting the site and where they are looking. Our observations indicate most of the traffic to the site from the past couple of months has been to what are now dead links to erotica books – links still on the major search engines. There has been almost no interest in the kids section of the site and as those of you who use the author suite to monitor our sales will know, we have sold nothing much either. Traffic started to decline a week or so ago and with no real traffic coming to Fiction4All, myself and my new colleague, who is responsible for much of the new-look on Fiction4All, have had a long conversation. As a result, we have built a parallel universe on Fiction4All so we can restore the erotica section there. There are just two links to it from the main bookstore – one on the home page and one in the Mainstream Fiction section – both of which will offer a set of red curtains with a message the first time someone visits the site. This is a reversal of our decision a couple of months ago but it is evident we need the erotica titles to bring people in to take a look at the non-adult section of the site.

We now have the erotica store back in place and in the next few days will update the author and publisher suites to clarify the relevant royalty rates.. At the moment we are still testing the links and the restored books but already, overnight, we have seen more activity on the site than in recent days so hopefully this is a good sign.

Obviously if you are an author or publisher represented on the site and you can promote your titles or those of other authors it would be appreciated. Without substantial sales no site can survive for long and though we have robust sales on our various adult venues, we need to make Fiction4All as a site stand alone in terms of business as otherwise we will soon have to decide what the future holds for the site.”

Notice – when they dropped erotica, their mainstream sales started dying too!

I’m really happy to see that they’ve reversed their earlier decision, and I wish them all the best with it.  My titles are still on their site and I still intend to finish converting the rest of my back catalog to ePub to list there.  My best guess as to why this happened, is that their customers were being initially drawn in by erotica, but stuck around buying mainstream content too… when the erotica was gone, they moved to buying their mainstream content at whatever new outlet they’d moved to buying their erotica from.

Unfortunately, Amazon is huge enough that they don’t need this, so they can afford to keep  sacrificing a new sub-genre of erotica authors every six months to keep the book burning censors happy.  But hopefully the smaller publishers will learn from Fiction4All and exercise some caution when they think about tightening the noose.

HR Giger has passed away, age 74

According to this article, HR Giger just passed away.  One may wonder what an erotica author is doing making a tribute post to the man, but his work was central to the visual styling of “Alien” and “Species”.  Aside from my watching the Alien series a lot as a kid and young adult, his later work “Species” influenced my most popular series, “Progenitor” when I asked myself, “What if Species 2 hadn’t been a horror movie?”

The world will be a little poorer without him.

Another erotica distribution network: Fiction4All

So, I’ve now added Fiction4All to my list of distributors.

I recently saw a list of erotica distributors, and noticed that there was one I hadn’t heard of: Fiction4all.  I took a look at their author options, and it seems that they act as a distribution hub for a few minor outlets, much as Smashwords does.  As a self published author, I’m always interested in additional distribution channels, so I took a look.  It seems that Fiction4All will either take your cover art and story as-is, or (presumably if your story has merit) have one of their cover design people work it over and format it.  I didn’t see anything in the description about fees for this service, which looks kind of intriguing.  Of course, if you’re using their cover design services I’m fairly certain that you won’t be free to use their cover on your story elsewhere.  Still, it’s promising.  Based upon the fact they’ll do nudity on covers and aren’t squeamish about publishing actual incest (as opposed to pseudo-incest), I’m pretty sure that they’re not going to go berserk and censor out my breeding porn.  These guys, girls, or whatever, publish porn stories not “extra steamy romance”.

She Only Wore a Shirt to the Funeral

She Only Wore a Shirt to the Funeral

I used my “She Only Wore a Shirt to the Funeral” as an experiment, and it took a week or two but it got accepted and went live.  It’s at the following sites at least, although they claim their network may involve other sites (probably via rebadging feeds, much like how Diesel used to have a million storefronts):

One note: You can’t list stories there for free, but you can list them at $0.49, which is what I’ve done with “She Only Wore a Shirt to the Funeral”.

Also, as an introductory special, they always price your book at 15% off for the first week.  I’m a little bit scared of uploading my titles which are already published elsewhere, but I think in the future I might start publishing to everywhere but Amazon at first, then posting to Amazon after the 15% discount period has expired.  Amazon’s terms say effectively, “Fuck you, we’re always going to have the lowest price on your story, and if someone discounts it then we’ll price match that.”  A lot of other sites have the same exact policy, so all it takes is to get two sites into a discounting war to take your $2.99 story and put it on a permanent 15% off.  This sounds trivial and annoying, but Amazon only gives you 70% royalties on titles over $2.99.  So if you’re at $2.99 and they price-match you to $2.55, you’re now in the 35% royalty bracket for all sales for that title until you can convince Amazon to agree to bump the price back up to $2.99.

I’ve read other authors’ horror stories about that – the horror specifically comes in from Amazon really not wanting to bring the price back up once it’s been lowered, and the other sites tend to have the same preference.

Now, I don’t mind a 15% discount, but here’s what that does to your revenue at Amazon, if they price-match your title and it takes it under the magic $2.99 minimum price for 70% royalty share:

  • $2.99 produces 70% royalty = $2.09 royalty to the author (minus some distribution costs, etc)
  • $2.54 produces 35% royalty = $0.89 royalty to the author

So as you can see, there’s reason to be concerned about this.  But this interesting article on Smashwords makes a compelling point for pricing at $3.99, and even if a 15% discount gets taken against your $3.99 eBook and Amazon responds, you’re still not down into the 35% royalty pool.

So I think I might switch to new release pricing at $3.99 on all channels, letting whatever happens with the 15% promotional periods happen, and then perhaps re-evaluating the price of back-catalog items at $2.99 once I’m sure that no outlets are going to get into a price war over my titles.

Any other authors, feel free to to chime in in the comments if you have input here.  As for myself, I’m glad to see Fiction4all in the ecosystem.  Given that they don’t care if you publish actual incest (as opposed to pseudo incest), I’m pretty sure that they’re not going to turn extra-prudish and ban my breeding erotica which Amazon filters out from most search results, or “Cum In Me If You Want To Live”, which Amazon banned entirely.

Excerpt from “Winning the Genetic Lottery 2”

I realize that I haven’t posted much about my upcoming sequel to “Winning the Genetic Lottery” lately, so this is my apology to those particular fans.  It’s a draft of course, and subject to editing before it goes final.  But, you folks will probably enjoy it just the same.

For those who aren’t aware, “Winning the Genetic Lottery’ is one of my non-magical, non-sci-fi stories.  In this series, a man has been made unspeakably rich for the sole purpose of producing more children than any other man in the history of the world.

In the first story, he works out his plan.  In the second story, the local government starts seeing him and the community which has sprung up around his mansion as a demographic threat.  Jim is faced with either uprooting his community, or running for political office to take over the county and make the corrupt politicians’ nightmares come true.

And let’s face it, this is a Ken Haramiru story.  Do you think Jim’s going to roll over for it when a corrupt politician endangers his women and his children?


An Excerpt from “Winning the Genetic Lottery 2”

Winning the Genetic Lottery

“Winning the Genetic Lottery” by Ken Haramiru


I made my way back up the staircase to my suite, set the book back on the shelf, and stripped down for bed. For once, no one else was in it and I was able to read a book for a while, then drift off to sleep in peace.

That changed at some point in the morning. Her name was Krystal, she was scheduled for today, and she’d asked if she could provide my wakeup call this morning. It was 5am, and I awakened as my mattress sagged with her weight as she slipped her way onto it. I rolled over in bed and saw her lifting the covers, wearing only a translucent blue camisole and a pair of matching panties.

“Sorry”, the raven-haired beauty said as she noticed my eyes opening. She slipped into the bed, pulling the covers up over herself and scooting over towards me. “Didn’t mean to wake you”, she said.

I mumbled something noncommittal and reached out, slipping my arms around her and pulling her towards me. Her legs were warm and long, slender but not particularly well muscled. Some dim part of my memory told me that Krystal was a secretary.

I ran my arm down her body and found her thighs, pulling her into contact with me. In what must have been an immensely romantic gesture, I gave her a kiss, then fell back asleep curled around her like a dragon with its hoard.

I woke up again around 7am, to find that Krystal had turned around and was facing away from me, and I’d managed to slip my hand inside of her camisole to caress her soft, warm skin. Her breathing pattern told me that she was sleeping, but I was pretty sure she’d rather have been doing something else. I moved my hand slightly, scooting it up her chest to caress her right breast. Her nipple responded immediately, hardening and standing up straight. I handled first it and then the other, and I felt Krystal take a breath as she started to wake up. I slipped my hand away from her breasts and worked it lower and lower, passing her navel and making its way eventually to her bikini line and below. She’d trimmed her pubic hair short, and my fingers quickly found the cleft between her legs. A little bit of attention had her clitoris inflamed , and a little groan escaped Krystal’s throat. She stretched her legs out, lifting the top one just slightly to grant me better access. Her leg lowered back down, and then Krystall sleepily said, “Wanna wake me up like that every morning?”

I kissed her neck and said, “Every morning we’re trying, sure.”

She lay there for a few moments, then stretched and turned around to face me. She looked into my eyes and then asked, “Wanna make a baby now?”

I smiled and kissed her, then rolled over so that she was on top. Her legs were spread wide, straddling me. I could feel the heat of her mound pressing against my crotch, and my cock hardened almost instantly in reply.

“Don’t you ever get tired of this?”, Krystal wondered aloud.

I snorted and said, “You’d think so, but no. Probably that whole instinct thing.”

She closed her eyes and slid herself forward, savoring the sensation as her pussy slid along my cock, leaking a little bit of her excitement over it. I took a deep breath as my heart began to race, pumping hardness into my cock with renewed energy.

“Someone seems to be looking forward to this”, she teased as she scooted her pussy along my cock. Her pussy lips flared open in anticipation, widening so that now my cock was sliding along a very well defined, lubricated groove. She reached down and pulled off her top, letting her breasts drop free as she straddled me. I admired her torso, from the not-quite-hourglass shape to the swells of her breasts as they slopwled down from her shoulders. Krystal waa Caucasian, with dyed blond hair and a few tiny black moles on her skin.K. Those moles danced as her chest heaved, her body greedily sucking in oxygen as she prepared to give herself to me.

A moment later, she scooted back a little, and the transparent panties she wore were thoroughly soaked. Without her pussy to hold it down, my cock bounced up, its erection urgent and needful. Krystal hurriedly pulled down her panties, shedding the last barrier between her pussy and my cock with vigor. She straddled me again and knelt, her pussy out of my cock’s reach, and I stroked her thighs with my palms, gently pressing downward and encouraging her to lower her pussy so that we could do what came naturally.

Krystal took the hint, and leaned forward with her torso, dragging her breasts over my chest as she brought her face towards mine. I leaned forward and kissed her, surprising her by moving before she expected. She went with it, smiling and lowering herself onto me, pressing her body against my own. Her skin was warm against my own, and I grasped her hips with both hands and steered, moving her hips until I could feel the tip of my cock pressing against her hot, wet hole.

Krystal arched her back, pulling her face back from mine as she closed her eyes and opened her mouth in a silent exhalation. She backed her pussy up, taking me inside of her an inch at a time. I watched her face as she she squatted on me, burying my cock deep inside of her and savoring the sensation. She kept going until I was fully inside of her, her pussy lips rubbing gently against the sides of my cock as she rode me slowly. I hardened just a little more, the final bit of energy being summoned as my cock made itself at home, dancing in the ancient life-giving instinctive ritual common to all humanity.

Krystal wrapped her arms around my torso and squeezed, relishing the sensation as I caressed her hips, running my fingers down to her thighs as I did so. I may have done this thousands of times over the last few years, but it never did get old. We kissed for a while, her body responding rapidly as I stayed within her, her pussy leaking juices out around my shaft. I was exploring her mouth with my tongue when she pulled her mouth away and took in a breath of air, sucking it in and then breathing rapidly as I continued to plow away at her. She started to make noises, a little contented purr building up in the back of her throat and squeezing out with each thrust. I felt her body heat rising as in unison with my own, and I folded her body down against me. Once she had flattened herself against my body, I rolled over in the bed, taking a position on top of her as my orgasm approached. Krystal let out a gasp as I buried myself inside her as far as I could, no longer stroking in and out but just moving slightly, her pussy lips engulfing the base of my cock as I strove to penetrate her completely. I could feel the tip of my clock just barely kissing her cervix, even as the so-familiar wave of pressure built up within my balls. She wrapped her legs around me, trying to pull me just a fraction of an inch deeper inside her as my cock shuddered and then pulsed, spraying my potent seed right up against her cervix. Krystal let out a strangled yelp at the warm sensation as my hot sperm sprayed her pussy, each shot a geyser of my sperm cells. I groaned in pleasure as I finished inside her, my cock beginning to shrink away and still ooIng my potent seed into her willing sex as it retreated.

I moved my arms to support my weight a little better, distributing it so that I didn’t leave my weight all on top of her. Birgit, my personal trainer, always made me watch my weight as a courtesy to the women I mount. I was presently 190 pounds, a bit heavy for my frame if it weren’t for all the muscle which adorned it.

Krystal let out a breath in pleasure, then said, “I kind of expected it to be different, you know?”

I raised an eyebrow. “What, do I have a reputation that I’m not living up to?”, I inquired.

Krystal sighed and let out her breath, then kissed me. “Not you, just baby-making sex in general. I always thought it would be a lot hotter when I’m trying to get pregnant.”

I rolled off of her, my moist penis sliding out of her with a little noise. “Well, it depends on the woman I’ve noticed”, I said. “Breeding sex is always hot if you’ve got a kink for it, and most women do have one whether they’ll admit it or not. But some women only really get off on it if they’re with the man they want to be with. But either way, the baby doesn’t care how good a time we had. I’m sorry it didn’t live up to your expectations, though.”

Krystal smiled. “I didn’t say it wasn’t good, just that I expected more. I still expect round two in a few minutes.”

I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. “Well, milady, that’s one thing which I’m sure I can provide. But stay on your back, though. I want to ram the cum from this time all the way up to your ovaries.”

Krystal got a little smirk. “You don’t think you got me pregnant yet?”, she inquired.

I reached over and began to rub her nipples absent mindedly. “I’m shooting for twins”, I said.

Krystal raised one leg a little, and I watched the delicate curve of her ass lift up from the sheets. She kept it pressed against the opposite side, keeping her pussy mostly closed. “What if I told you that’s starting to turn me on a little?”, she asked.

I brought my hand down, resting it on her belly, and said “I’d say you just raised the chances that this is going to be full of my baby in a couple months”, I replied, before sliding my hand further down to her pussy. She arched her back a little, grinding her soaking wet pussy against my fingers as I moved them down and slipped them deftly inside of her pussy.

“Careful”, Krystal said, “you’re going to wake it up.”

I flicked her clitoris with my thumb, and felt it rise to life, eager and ready. “Ok, you woke it up”, she gasped. My index finger was inside of her at this point, delicately playing with her vagina as I slowly rubbed my thumb over her clot. She squeezed her thighs shut, pressing my hand harder into her as she bucked her hips. “That’s not what’ll get you pregnant, Krystal”, I said.

I could feel her warmth all around my finger, pressing from all sides as I slid in and out of her. I played inside ofI her for a few minutes until she whined out, “Isn’t that babymaker of yours ready yet?”, she pleaded as I strummed her, my fingers bringing her to the brink.

She reached over with her hand and started to stroke my cock, wet and sticky with her juices. I shifted a little to give her better access to my cock, then fit two fingers into her and slowly worked them inside her, her pussy leaking her cum and mine now.

“Please just put it in”, Krystal begged, her fingers squeezing at my cock as it started to swell again.

I shifted my groin, letting her stroke my shaft as it hardened again, the readiness almost overwhelming. Krystal tugged at my elbow insistently, and I rolled over on top of her and let my cock dangle freely for a moment over her pussy. Krystal thrust at me, her trimmed pubic hair brushing against me and coaxing my hard-on into full, unrepentant life. I responded by lowering it, quickly finding her swollen, ready pussy and burying my cock in her ready wetness.

Krystal let out a breath, exhaling sharply as I penetrated her. My cock was about as hard as the first time, but I knew from experience that this time it would take a lot longer. I arched my back to take weight off of her chest and pistoned my cock in and out of her, the entire length sliding in and out as we strove together. Krystal clutched the sheets with her hand, squeezing them until her knuckles turned white as she came, already brought to the brink by my fingers. I drove myself deep and stayed there as her fingers raked down my back and her pussy clenched around my cock as she climaxed. I let her subside for a few moments before starting again, my cock positioning in and out of her slowly, even as she painted.

“Oh, you just have no mercy, do you?”, she said as I kept going, my shaft plumbing her inner depths.

I shook my head. “Mercy doesn’t make babies”, I replied curtly as I took her, the base of my shaft nestled insistently against her vulva. Krystal was still breathing hard from her last orgasm, and I kept plowing away at her pussy for a good 10 or so minutes before I felt myself getting close.

“Damn I’m gonna be sore tomorrow”, she muttered as things got serious, my dick swelling wide once more and fully occupying her birth canal. I began thrusting deep and only backing off a little as her body eagerly opened itself to me, her pussy tensing in the ages-old way of our species as Krystal prepared to receive my seed again. Beads of sweat broke out on my forehead as I began panting, my trainer-honed body near its peak.

Krystal squeezed my waist and said, “This is it. You’re getting me pregnant.”

I raised my eyebrow but said nothing, not caring if she didn’t grasp biology.

I pressed myself as deep as I could go, my shaft dribbling pre-cum deep within her. Krystal closed her eyes and murmured, “Oh fuck, this is why it’s hot” as I clutched her ass, pulling myself just that last quarter inch into her as my cock pulsed, delivering my next load of sperm right to her cervix.

“GOD!”, she shrieked as she felt the first of my cum spray inside of her. I gritted my teeth and let out a grunting noise as I held her close, my penis spraying pulse after pulse of my semen into her willing body.

“Oh God”, she said as I released my death grip on her body, “that’s what it feels like to be into it!”

I stayed inside of her as my penis retracted, still leaking sperm as it went, then shifted off to her left and laid down on my side. I grabbed a small pillow from the headboard and stuck it underneath her ass, forcing her hips back and letting gravity help out.

“Now you get to think about all that sperm inside you”, I pointed out as I put my hand on her firm, flat belly. “And about what’s going to happen in here over the next few months.”

Krystal turned her head towards me and gave a little grin as she opened and shut her legs a few times, her knees in the air. “It’s so weird thinking about this”, she said, “but the what we did is really the whole reason we’re here, and it’s something we only ever do a few times in our lives.”

I graceiously avoided mentioning that I’ve been through this a few hundred times now, and instead observed, “Well, it’s not the only reason. We’re also here to take care of the children we have, and try to make this a better world for their entire generation.”

Krystal idly toyed with her nipple with one hand as she reached down to stroke her clit. “And that’s why you’re running for office?”, she asked.

I nodded. “Most men can actually have all their kids under their roof for their whole childhood. I literally can’t, so I actually have to think a lot about the outside world. I’m doing everything I can for this little community, but it’s at the point now where I have to enter the political stage.”

Krystal took her hand off of her nipple and clutched my hand, intertwining her fingers with my own. “What if getting appointed to the county seat isn’t enough? What if you have to go higher?”

I grimaced a little and squeezed her hand. “Then I’ll just have to go higher, assuming that I’m electable.”

Krystal cranes her neck over to give me a peck on the lips, trying not to move her lower body and spill any more of my semen from her fertile pussy. “Well, I hope I’m pregnant, then, because you’ve got my vote.”

I leaned over and kissed her, a little longer, without her having to shift her body at all. Her grin broke into a smile as I said, “Even if it hasn’t happened today, we’ll keep trying.”

Making eBooks Directly Available to Your Readers

It’s been a while since I had anything of deep technical interest to my fellow authors, and today has changed that.  Today, I discovered just what a pain it is to try to make your eBooks available to your readers.  I’m going to walk you through the tools I deployed today to make She Only Wore a Shirt to the Funeral available to my readers today.

First, I presume that you want to be a direct source for some of your books, like me.  I’m just fine with letting the big content aggregators handle the hosting for me in general, but it’s kind of nice to have a direct connection to the readers.  And most importantly, you’ve got no restrictions against putting in all the commercial links you want, when you do a direct eBook.  Most companies seem to think they’re the only place you might possibly publish, and they’d really prefer that you manage that in a Smashwords book (distributed to Apple and everywhere) that you only have links to THEIR site.  Kind of not possible when Smashwords distributes the same book to each site, so you can’t actually create a set of links on each book which guide the reader to that site’s instance of your other ebooks.  The Smashwords style guide says to use Smashwords as a central site to link to, but I’ve had book rejected at Apple because (contrary to some agreement they have with Apple) Apple considers that a competitive link.  Anyway, I’ve tried something new recently, which is setting up a separate page on this site for each book, then linking from that page to every site I’m aware of which sells my books.  I think that this approach might be deemed acceptable by the Powers Which Be in publishing-land (and not be considered a competing link, since their link is in fact included), but I’m not sure.

Getting your content ready for hosting

The first thing is that you’re going to want a version of your book that you can host on your site.  That leaves PDF – which folks tend to look down on these days – or ePub, which is what all the cool kids are doing.  Amazon and Smashwords both frown on it if you decide to just save the ePub they generated for you and rehost it on your own site.  That means you’re now in the position where you need to be able to generate an ePub yourself.  So, I found writer2epub, which integrates with openoffice or libre office and allows you to basically export to ePub.  There are quirks to getting it running, of course.  One of them is that instead of asking you where to save the file, it just writes it into your filesystem right next to the doc file or odt file you were editing on earlier.  But, I found that it did a nice job of getting an ePub document ready, just in time for me to smash into the next hurdle.

By default, WordPress doesn’t allow you to upload most file types

When I tried to upload my .epub file, I was rejected by WordPress security.  It said that the file type I’d tried to upload was not permitted.  Looking around, I didn’t see any setting in WordPress for it, and it seems that this is one of those hard-coded things which you need to either crack the WordPress code open for, or just use an appropriate extension.  I chose to go the extension route, because I’d rather not worry at each WordPress upgrade about whether my changes got blown away or not.

Specifically, I added the “Upload File Type Settings Plugin”, which does a wonderful job of letting you actually specify your own mime types.  There are other things which just expand the list of mime types, but neither of the two others I tried actually let you specify your own; they all just added more types to the list.  They’ll take care of you if you’re wishing that you could upload movie files, but if like me you just want to add .epub files to the “yes, I can upload this” list, those other plugins will not help you.

When you add the file type settings plugin, you’ll get a new “Upload Settings” configuration screen under your “Settings” tab.  You’ll want to add this into the mime types configuration box:

epub: application/epub+zip

Once you’ve done this, you’ll be able to upload .epub files to your library.

Tracking Your Downloads

Of course, it isn’t very fun to only host your downloads and never know if people are actually downloading them.  That’s why I also installed the Simple Download Manager plugin.  It lets you handle downloads via something kind of like the media library, and you get a new “Downloads” tab right under your “Comments” tab in the dashboard.  You can then actually see how many times people have downloaded your various works, as long as you use SDM links to link to them (the helpful Download buttons like the one below).  The Download below uses everything I’ve talked about in this article, wrapped up into one.  Feel free to try it out, just keep in mind if you stumbled upon this during technical research, that I am an Evil Dirty Erotica Author, and you will in fact be downloading very-NSFW text content (but with no particularly incriminating pictures).

She Only Wore a Shirt to the Funeral eBook


A scene from “Merlin’s Safeguard”

I was glancing through my files as I was writing today, and the following segment jumped out at me and demanded to be shared.  It’s from a story which takes place just before “Merlin’s Magic Wang”.  Yes, I promise I’m mostly working on Progenitor 3 right now!

Ken Haramiru's "Merlin's Magic Wang" series

Ken Haramiru’s “Merlin’s Magic Wang” series

The Problem, Presented

I was having a spectacularly sexual dream, but someone was trying to wake me up. I moaned out some vague complaint, and a female voice asked me, “Sam, could you take your dick out of me?”

I woke up with a jolt. My cock was hard as steel, and buried in a vagina that was not touching me. I was fully clothed, having just been napping on a couch in my office. Tripti, my cute Indian co-worker, was standing a few feet away, rubbing at the crotch of her gym shorts, massaging her pussy where my cock had apparently materialized during my wet dream. My hips were in mid-thrust, and I could feel her vagina tensing around my cock as a bit of pre-cum leaked out into her pussy.

“Shit!” I exclaimed.

Tripti squirmed her hips back and forth, trying to dislodge my erect member from her vagina. I took a sharp breath. “Uh, you might not want to do that just now”, I cautioned her.

Ignoring my warning, she grimaced and reached down between her legs. I could feel her hand massage my cock through her pelvic wall as she felt herself, and my throbbing erection neared its apex. “God, seriously, stop that!”, I exclaimed.

She looked at me, startled, and her face set in a concerned expression. “Oh, you mean…”

I nodded, trying desperately not to move, and with as much calm as I could muster, replied “Yes, that. I’m close.”

Tripti said nothing, just nodded slowly and tried to stand very still, as if she were holding a venomous snake that she didn’t want to startle. “I’ll just be quiet, then.”

Unfortunately for both of us, her nervousness made her vagina clench around my cock. Her pussy squeezed gently but insistently on my hard member, which was teetering just on the brink of orgasm. I just barely managed to hold back, hoping that it would die down and I’d be able to lose the erection.

Then, the unthinkable happened. I could see it first in her eyes: a startled realization, and an attempt to suppress the reflex. But soon it became undeniable. Tripti’s eyes narrowed, her mouth constricted, and she took a deep involuntary breath.

My cock was still turgid, teetering on the brink of ejaculation as her body tensed up for a sneeze. “Don’t, Tripti!”, I warned.

But it was too late. A mere split second later, a sneeze came rocketing out of her nose, followed by another and another. Her midriff shook with the involuntary movements, the spasms shaking everything in her body.

Including my cock. It was too much to take; the contractions of her vagina sent me over the edge, gasping with forbidden pleasure.

Tripti’s eyes stopped watering just in time for her to see me gasp as my cock erupted into her pussy. Her mouth shot open in a combination of shock and pleasure as the warmth gushed into her vagina, filling her intimately. Her hand flew to the crotch of her shorts as I continued releasing sperm into her, erupting repeatedly with a steady and insistent force. I surrendered to the orgasm, thrusting deeper inside her since it was going to happen anyway. Tripti threw back her head and moaned, obviously having come to the same conclusion. We were both panting from heat and pleasure for a few seconds before she could muster up the composure to say something.

“God Sam, what’ll happen to us?”, she asked plaintively as she sat down next to me. My cock was still just barely in her pussy, the last of my sperm still dripping into her vagina.

I shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know, but I’m going to start writing my report now. In the meantime… well, try not to wear anything suggestive.”

This has been a teaser for an upcoming “Breeding Camelot Style” story tentatively titled, “Merlin’s Safeguard”.  I present it because my readers could occasionally use the reassurance that I’m writing something new.  🙂

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